Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Free Time?

Well, it depends on who you ask. 

The two week period between when camp ends and school starts strikes fear into many a parent's heart. These weeks are a hodge-podge of frantic school preparations, last licks of swimming, and a melancholy good-bye to a season where ice-cream and a solid blast of AC cures most woes. As children, we remember that familiar gut clench accompanying those school preparations as we said so long to our summer friendships, some fleeting, others remarkably resilient, and looked ahead in reticent anticipation of the upcoming year that would bring us one step closer to real life.

There was an opinion piece in the NYTimes a couple of days ago discussing a concept called unschooling,not to be confused with home schooling. http://op-talk.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/08/24/children-need-free-play-but-are-unschoolers-giving-them-too-much/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0 

In this concept of unschooling, children are free to establish much of the ground rules, relying on nature walks and other organic settings in which to learn math, social sciences, even astronomy, allowing for their natural curiosity to propel them forward. The article goes on to say that these children when integrated into disciplined, traditional settings such as college, do very well. As a mother who very clearly remembers her own children finding friends of varying ages at bungalow colonies, and allowing them the freedom to explore endlessly throughout the summer, I think there is a major distinction between summertime and all year round. Yes, the idea has merit--but up to a point.

That point being the parents' sanity. Following on the heels of all that free play comes the boredom monster. This monster has been known to rear its head when siblings are getting on each others nerves, during rainy days, and on long road trips or cramped airplane cabins.

For the child who is free-spirited, lack of structure is a gift from heaven; but even the most stalwart anti-establishment types can agree that structure is simply the way the world turns and the sooner children learn deadlines and accountability the better. Children crave a schedule. Sure, they will whine about bedtimes and rules, but it shows them deep down that someone else is in charge and doing the worrying and that in turn allows them the opportunity to concentrate on schoolwork and extra-curricular activities.

As any frazzled parent who is braving back-to-school sales in the summer heat that finally decided to show up, this period of time gives pause for reflecting on how fleeting these days are as we mentally check off a year closer to graduation and our children's future. 

So long summer...now that you finally showed up, we will surely miss you!!
 

It's Time to Start the Revolution

As I sat down to drink my morning coffe, I opened the New York Times app on my iPad. I glanced at Top News as always, and then hit what has become my favorite section--Most Emailed stories. I like to keep the pulse of what the hot topics are without resorting to The View for my information.


David Pogue wrote something that I found incredibly disturbing called Internet Memes101: A Guide to Online Wackiness. David goes on to explain in exhaustive detail--(if you have to explain a joke it isn't funny anymore)  all the pop culture references that those of us from a different generation have apparently been missing out on while trying to follow the late-night monolgues.


News flash David. If I don't get the reference about the latest Kardashian foible, I'm actually glad. If I don't realize the latest catchphrase has been generated by the monotoned Paris Hilton I consider it a win in the column for those of us who think hotel chain first, media hussy second.


Maybe, just maybe, it's time for our youth to try to understand what we're saying rather than the other way around. When I was in school and attended a lecture and the professor used a word I had never heard before, I wrote it down so I could check it later. In an actual dictionary. I made the effort. And yes, that's how nerdy I was.


I was speaking to a co-worker and she was recounting a story of her neighbor who is a grown man listening unquestioningly to whatever directives his father issued.
"But that last piece of advice you told me about was so poor. Didn't he say anything to his father?" I asked.
"No, his father is European."


I'll let that statement just hang out there.


Tina Fey speaks glowingly about her father in her hysterically insightful book Bossypants. The chapter That's Don Fey says it all. He was a man who commanded respect. You stood up straighter when he entered a room--I used to say the same thing about my grandfather.


My husband is of the generation that remembers when a parent was allowed to say to a child, "Because I said  so."
I'm not advocating going back to those times because I think open communication is the key ingredient to any successful relationship, as is mutual respect. And self-respect is the first step to respecting others. I'm just saying.


So yes, an online primer to the catchphrases of the moment is an amusing page-filler. But the underlying message is disconcerting. Why do I care to learn the language of a generation that doesn't know how to fold the New York Times in its original form. Yes. The newspaper is actually available in paper format.


Let's demand more from others, not less.