I've written on previous blogs about attending singles events, not for myself, since I'm married, but as a coordinator/matchmaker/facilitator/therapist, and I've just come back from another one. The group this time was primarily in their thirties and forties and for a number of them, it was a second time around. Married ladies, if you have a good guy, try to hold onto him, and vice versa, because the pickins' are slight. Every man, regardless of his appearance, told me I want a pretty woman--and their list of other qualities was nonexistent. They admitted in varying degrees to being shallow--some sheepishly, others defiantly. I wondered what they would be offering in the deal. Because lest anyone forget it, marriage is a deal, with each side bringing something valuable to the table.
I'm a huge fan of the ABC show, The Bachelorette. I love it because it gives the woman the power to decide while the men fall over each other to win her over. Their tactics become increasingly juvenile and bizarre as they compete gladiator-style with each other, only occasionally remembering the woman they are competing for. And it is the exact reason why I find The Bachelor unwatchable.
This is the first time a Bachelorette is a mom. Emily Maynard, a real beauty hailing from North Carolina, has an adorable blond haired daughter, Ricki, named after the child's father, Ricky Hendrick, a well-known Nascar driver and Emily's fiancee who died in a plane crash before he knew he was to become a father! I'll give you a moment to dry your eyes. The current bachelorette is more than a pretty woman, she is a fierce mama bear, and heaven help any bachelor who doesn't fully comprehend that Emily and Ricki are a package deal. I point this out for a reason. This steely-eyed magnolia doesn't wither under intense heat. She was on a date with one very good-looking suitor and over dinner she asked him where he saw her daughter and herself fitting into his life. He stammered his answer, "Uh, duh, I mean, I'll go wherever you go." She fixed him with a laser-look as she got up from her chair and escorted him out the door and off the show. As she stood on the veranda and looked out, dramatic fireworks appeared in the midnight sky. Apparently the show's producer had overconfidently decided the bachelor had been a keeper. Emily hadn't. The bachelor's simple miscalculation? Pretty doesn't equal stupid.
So you guys looking for that pretty woman, here's a piece of advice. You may be able to get her on a date, but if you don't have something more than, "Uh, duh," to contribute, you may just be sent packing before you have the chance to enjoy the fireworks.